Medical School Personal Statement Characters In To Kill

Part 4: The “Why Us?” Secondary Essay

Example "Why Us?" Essay Prompts

Example 1: “What makes LLUSM particularly attractive to you?” (Loma Linda University School of Medicine)

Example 2: “How will becoming a Creighton educated physician enable you to achieve your lifetime goals and/or aspirations?” (Creighton University School of Medicine)

"Why Us?" Essay Background

These are everyone’s favorite prompts (I wish my sarcasm could jump through the screen).

The first step to writing an effective “Why us?” essay is to restrain yourself from writing about how great their medical school is or where it's located.

Glad that’s out of the way.

Consider why admissions committees want you to answer this question. After all, they know you’re applying to many other schools and that your GPA and MCAT scores are at least reasonably close to their admission averages (learn Where to Apply to Medical School to Maximize Admissions Odds).

Admissions committees read thousands of essays annually and want to know that you’ve considered them for reasons beyond the obvious (location, prestige, average GPA and MCAT, etc.).

By integrating your qualities, experiences, and aspirations with their specific mission, programs, and resources, you will have a unique opportunity to demonstrate "fit" in your application. Don’t take this for granted!

"Why Us?" Essay Misconception 1: “I should just read a school’s mission statement and research available resources on their website, and then rewrite the same information in essay form.”

The vast majority of students approach the “Why us?” essay this way, so it won’t make your response seem very special.

I basically see the expanded version of the following essay 90+% of the time:

“I want to go to [School Name] because of their wonderful [program name] and incredible [resources]. {Program] cultivates [attribute] that helps their students become great physicians. In addition, [resources] provide support to help students reach their potential.”

You should be able to see how this essay says nothing about why YOU want to go to their school.

Moreover, medical schools already know about all of the programs and resources they offer, so you wouldn’t be providing much value through your writing.

The better approach to this essay would be to look through schools’ websites to find programs and resources that actually interest you and to identify what each school keeps boasting about (e.g., perhaps they mention diversity or early clinical experience multiple times on their homepage). Then, consider:

  • How YOUR experiences fit with their offerings
  • What YOU could contribute
  • How YOU would uniquely benefit from their program

For example, if a school focuses a lot on community service and you have similar experiences, mention that. In addition, let the school know how you want to further focus your skills while there. On the other hand, if you have a more research heavy background and are applying to the same school, you could either focus on research or discuss how community service will make you a more well-rounded physician. The more specific you can be, the better.

"Why Us?" Essay Misconception 2: “There’s no other way to find out information about a medical school than by reading their site.”

Looking at a school’s website and demonstrating fit is certainly a tried-and-true approach to answering "Why us?" essay prompts, but it isn’t the only one.

To really impress admissions committees, you could integrate information from current students or recent alumni into your response. Ask these individuals whether they would be willing to share their experiences attending a particular school, and also whether you would be a good fit there given your background and goals.

How do you find these people? The easiest people to contact are those you know personally or through a mutual acquaintance. Otherwise, you could contact a school’s administrative staff and ask whether they could connect you to a current student. While this requires additional work, it will be well worth it for your top school preferences.

If you have to contact a stranger, use the following email template:

“Dear [Student Name],

I hope this email finds you well. My name is [Your Name}, and I am currently completing my med school applications. I’m especially interested in attending [School Name] and am therefore hoping to get some more information about the program. [School Name]'s admissions committee gave me your email address as someone who could help me out.

I'd really appreciate it if you would spare 15-20 minutes to answer 3-5 quick questions in the upcoming days. If so, please let me know some days and times that are most convenient for you, your time zone, and the best number to reach you. I’ll do my best to accommodate.

Thanks for your time and consideration. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Best,

[Your Name]

Sample "Why Us?" Essay

(Note: All identifying details have been changed.)

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” Throughout my undergrad years, I’ve found that working hard to involve myself with others and their unique perspectives is one of the most productive ways in which I can learn. For example, I used to believe that illnesses were just a set of tangible symptoms that resulted solely from maladaptive genes. However, after working closely with families in Boston's inner city, I have come to realize how racial, physical, and social factors, such as a lack of access to fresh produce or primary health services, can influence the likelihood of disease. As I obtained a broader understanding of the many factors that contribute to health, I find myself asking new questions and wanting to learn more. How can we properly assess a community’s needs and design appropriate solutions? How can an understanding of sociocultural factors be used to heal current patients and prevent new ones? I believe that the answers to these questions and others will come from the Community Health Program at the University of Washington (UW). The year-round lecture series on topics, such as “Health Disparities: An Unequal World's Biggest Challenge,” will allow me to engage closely with faculty and students to work towards developing holistic community-based solutions. Furthermore, the UW PEERS clinic and Friends of UW provide an opportunity to work closely with urban Seattle neighborhoods similar to those I have worked with in Boston. Having connected with a range of Boston families, varying in age, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity, I have improved my sense of self-awareness and cultural sensitivity, attributes I hope to continue developing with the surrounding Seattle community. I am confident that UW and the Community Health Program can further prepare me to be a physician who not only improves the lives of individual patients, but also addresses the needs of entire communities.

----

Final Thoughts

Secondary applications will likely be one of the most time-consuming, stressful, and exhausting parts of your application process (the other is the medical school admission interview circuit if you’re fortunate to receive multiple invitations).

Nevertheless, you should give yourself some breaks to recharge so that you never rush submissions for the sake of rolling admissions and sacrifice quality.

Like every other piece of written material you submit, aim not only to answer the prompt, but also to give admissions committees deeper insights into what makes YOU so great for their school specifically.

----

Enjoyed this article? Get the FREE guide we use to help over 90% of our students get into med school—the first time.

You have missed every football game for the last two seasons. You really—and I mean really—wanted to go to that party you were invited to last week at the sorority house. But, you didn't. You studied instead. You have paid your premedical dues, and then some, but you are finally beginning to reap the rewards. You are about to submit your AMCAS application with that sparkling GPA and stellar MCAT score. Your advisor, your mother, the “experts” at the campus writing center—they've all told you the same thing: just sell yourself to the admissions committee in that personal essay and you're in. Don't look now, but you're about to plunge yourself headlong off a premedical cliff that has swallowed more than a few of your fellows. If you proceed to “sell yourself” to the admissions committee you may soon find yourself in a situation unimaginable to many premeds—a student with a stellar GPA, MCAT score, and impressive extracurricular activities who is not accepted to medical school.

Such was the case for an acquaintance of mine with a 38 on the MCAT and a 4.0 GPA. He had been to Africa. He had volunteered for three years at the local hospital. Did I mention his 38 on the MCAT? “I just don't understand it,” he opined, “How could no one accept me.” After reading only the first few sentences of his personal statement, his “unbelievable” scenario made perfect sense to me. He was selling himself hard to the admissions committee. It wasn't quite as bad as the grimace-inducing onslaught poured over unsuspecting browsers at the local used car lot—but I was still grimacing. Here's an excerpt from his essay: “These hands-on experiences in the O.R. demonstrate my determination to finish whatever task lies before me—however difficult the obstacles may be. My many hours of real-world clinical experience in the O.R. separate me from other applicants who have merely observed. This fact, combined with my passion for helping underserved populations, makes me a highly-qualified candidate for medical school.”1 In my experience, most readers will be divided, roughly 50:50, on their reaction to the preceding excerpt. Some of you may be thinking, “That sounded pretty convincing.” The other half of you may have begun to see where I am going. Take a careful look at the language: “demonstrate my determination . . . My real-world clinical experience . . . others have merely observed . . . makes me a highly-qualified candidate . . . “

Simply put, the tone of these sentences is self-important and arrogant. Even if it doesn't strike you that way, trust me, it will strike most admission committee members that way. Arrogance, overconfidence and naiveté are three character traits medical school officers not only dislike, but are on vigilant lookout to expose. Arrogance is thinking you are superior to others. Overconfidence is being more confident in yourself and your abilities than you should be. Naiveté is deficiency in wisdom or judgment due to lack of experience. Especially in the medical field, the first two are clear evidence of the third. For a premedical student who has barely mastered the basic prerequisites, any degree of arrogance or overconfidence is by definition naïve. In other words, you simply lack the experience to be overtly confident about what prepares you for medical school, what makes you better than another candidate, or even what medical school will really be like once you get there.  

While very few people would consider arrogance to be a desirable character trait, admissions committees have very specific reasons to dislike it. There is a monumental difference between medical school curriculum and even the most demanding undergraduate curriculum. One straight-A student from an Ivy League school—no slouch by anyone’s measure—described it as “the difference between sipping from a soda straw and drinking from a fire hose.” And that’s just the curriculum. Add to that unbearable stress, screaming supervisors, and sometimes inhumane stretches of sleeplessness. If you haven’t experienced it, you just don’t know what it will be like—and to think that you do is—well—it’s very naïve. Admissions committees are fully aware of this fact and have seen more than a few medical students suffer greatly as they try to make the transition. What they have also observed is that it is quite often the arrogant, overconfident types that suffer most. When you have yourself up on a pedestal it can be a very long fall. By contrast, it is the humble, teachable students who generally struggle the least. They accept criticism and correction more easily. Perhaps they expected it to be difficult for them in the first place—so they aren’t surprised.

Furthermore, ego-nursing medical students are more than just annoying to their colleagues. The conflict that arises when arrogance and medical school reality collide often results in the one thing administrators fear above all else—attrition. For naïve premeds—and the rest of us—I’ll translate: attrition is a fancy word for the problem of medical school “drop outs.” Medical schools hate drop outs. They hate them so much they won’t even use the word—so they discuss attrition rates instead. In an effort to prevent this dishonorable situation, medical schools have tried to identify reliable warning signs—and yep, you guessed it, arrogance and naiveté are near the top of the list. It is for this precise reason that you will often hear admissions officers use buzzwords like: “self-aware,” “teachable,” or “easily corrected.” Interview questions and secondary prompts designed to uncover arrogance or overconfidence are commonplace. One such question, “Describe your greatest weakness?” is almost ubiquitous. A manual given to members of the admissions committee at one medical school gives committee members four major criteria on which to judge applicants, one of which is “their ability to recognize their own weaknesses.”

To drive this point home, try this exercise: Use words like humble, teachable, and self-aware to describe a used car salesman. How about that vacuum salesman who knocked on your door last week? Did he convey an impression of humility and self-awareness? I didn’t think so. At least the Oreck-Man was selling a product. Portraying humility becomes even more difficult when the product you are trying to “sell” is yourself. The bottom line is this: the concept of “selling oneself,” is an awful way to approach writing your personal statement--even if your advisor told you to do it.

David Trabilsy, former Assistant Dean of Admissions at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine lamented that one of his greatest pet peeves were “Applicants who . . . showed signs of arrogance—there was no room for these kinds of students at our school.”3

Just last week I was editing a personal statement for one of the students in our MCAT prep program. The same essay had been edited previously by the student’s pre-med advisor and by a counselor at the university’s writing lab. One comment challenged the student to “Make it more clear why you are better than the other candidates.” Another reviewer wrote: “You need to sell yourself to the committee.” Another commend suggested: “Imagine yourself like a lawyer before the court, you’ve got to make a stronger case for why they should choose you.” Obviously, this advice is somewhat in conflict with the tone of Dr. Trabilsy’s comments. There is no question Dr. Trabilsy is right.

Now you’ve been warned. Write convincingly, but always strive to portray yourself as refreshingly humble and teachable. Do NOT try to “sell” yourself to the committee. Here are a few simple Dos and Don’ts:

 

Do share impressive and unique experiences that demonstrate your positive character traits.

Do not overtly claim that you have a given character trait—let the reader draw that conclusion for themselves.

Do speak about what you have learned and how you have grown or matured.

Do not list off your accomplishments or “toot your own horn.”

Do focus on yourself. ADCOMS sincerely want to know you and understand what makes you tick.

Do not compare yourself to others. That’s the committee’s job, not yours.

Was this helpful?

If you or someone you know is applying to medical school and could benefit from these kinds of insights, encourage them to follow our blog and to check out the Altius MCAT preparation course. 

Notes:

1. Excerpt from an actual personal essay submitted to the Altius Admissions Consulting Team in 2012. Reprinted with student’s permission. Name witheld.

2. Follow-Up Audit of Medical School Admissions, University of Utah. Report # 2003-07. Office of the Legislative Auditor General, State of Utah, July 2003. You can read the full report here.

3. Tralisby, David. Reflections of a Former Admissions Dean. An open letter to medical school students from former Assistant Dean of Admissions, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, 1987-2000. Read Dr. Tralisby’s full letter here

0 Thoughts to “Medical School Personal Statement Characters In To Kill

Leave a comment

L'indirizzo email non verrà pubblicato. I campi obbligatori sono contrassegnati *